Any major change requires an adjustment period, and as prepared as I was to close the doors on my company, I feel like I am in the middle of that tornado of emotions. While I am chipping away at all my orders, and while I wait patiently for supplies to arrive, I am very slowly…like a snail’s pace…adjusting to a different kind of lifestyle, a slower lifestyle.
My husband and I are both overly hard-working entrepreneurs who run our own businesses. It’s not in our DNA not to be working 24-7. Like anyone with a passion for succeeding in business and in life, we both are programmed to keep pressing on, even if it means we are breaking ourselves to do it. After all, who else is going to pay the bills if we don’t bring home the bacon?
This past weekend was a true testament of my attempt to slow down. I did sneak in a couple of hours of cutting patterns and prepping orders, but I also played hooky. I spent a lovely saturday seaside catching up with my friend. Our dogs and the baby ran in the sand and surf enjoying the sun after a week of rain. I had a lunch date with my son, I walked with my husband down an oak lined road and watched the river flow in the creek beds that have been dry for a few years. We sipped wine with our friends over great conversation, and watched a rugby match in the afternoon rain. I actually read a magazine from start to…almost…finish.
While it was a wonderful weekend, there were several moments that left me with an overwhelming feeling of guilt. I felt guilty I wasn’t spending more time working, I felt guilty I wasn’t finishing more bags, I felt guilty that I wasn’t using my hands to create something, or selling anything. It was the work-a-holic in me who can’t slow down. As much as I hated that feeling, it was how I felt.
Change takes time, and time is a beautiful thing. For now I’ll try to push the guilt to the back seat and enjoy being in the present. After all, these moments are too precious, and lets be honest, it’s not like a handbag can’t wait a day or two.